It’s killing me. Depression Anxiety attacks it’s just killing me. I pushed everyone away in social media. Not an interactive person who likes to chit chat with anyone even in reality. Reason I’m afraid. Afraid of loosing as I lost everyone before family friends everyone. Every moment gives a vibe of committing suicide. Last time I was in my hometown had to go their just to look out how’s mom as she was in a serious condition. They didn’t let me see her. I guess she didn’t wanted me to. Days somehow used to be as usual as I use to be at my work. But nights I swear feels hardest to go through. I’ve tried it and it’s been a year someone took a promise (who isn’t in contact anymore) that I won’t do such things ever. I want a natural death without breaking the last promise I made. Just to distract my mind I cut off on my wrist when I can’t handle it. Close to end that won’t let me die with a suicide. I tried to contact her so that I’d ask her to break that promise but I couldn’t. I’m stucked. Somewhere where death seems like heaven and life seems like hell.
BG Writes 